Mohamed Salah and Virgil van Dijk have been left out of Liverpool's matchday squad for their Carabao Cup clash against Southampton.
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The new competition will increase the number of clubs in MLS NEXT while strengthening the player pool and coaching staff
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Plays of the Day from the third ODI between Zimbabwe and India in Harare
Liam Brickhill at the Harare Sports Club28-Jul-2013The catchIn the second match, Virat Kohli stood his ground after chipping a low catch to Malcolm Waller at mid-on. Though Waller claimed the catch, it took a second look from the television umpire to send Kohli on his way. Today, Kohli’s opposite number Brendan Taylor was the one to stand his ground. Taylor had attempted to clear mid-off with a lofted drive, but toe-ended the shot to present Mohammad Shami with a tough chance. The fielder managed to get a couple of fingers underneath the ball above the turf, but Taylor stayed at the wicket until several replays, from multiple angles, confirmed his dismissal.The shotZimbabwe’s No. 9 Tendai Chatara had batted twice in ODIs before this match, without ever scoring a run. Today, he was off the mark with four of them, thanks to an overthrow, and played the shot of the innings in the 40th over when he hooked an attempted bouncer from Vinay Kumar over deep square leg for six to give the home side’s supporters something to cheer about.The googlyAmit Mishra has taken nine wickets in three matches so far, and six of them have come via the googly. Brendan Taylor has suggested that his team-mates can pick the variation, though some apparently pick it better than others. Waller has fallen twice to the delivery, and today he was nipped out first ball by one that spun back in past his poking bat to strike his pads in front of middle stump. His dismissal left Mishra on a hat-trick, but for the second time in two matches an Indian bowler was denied that milestone.The debutantZimbabwe never had much chance of defending 183 on a benign surface, but debutant Michael Chinouya didn’t look like he was going to let a heavy defeat completely ruin his first day of international cricket. Chinouya was given some consolation with the wicket of Rohit Sharma, caught behind, as his first and after the edge was pouched, he set off on a John Cena-inspired celebratory run, waving four fingers in front of his face as he was mobbed by his team-mates.The white flagThe match ended in a flurry of boundaries, particularly off the bat of Virat Kohli, but it was Suresh Raina who hit the winning runs for India. Kohli had levelled the scores with a single to square leg off Tendai Chatara, who then offered Raina the friendliest of leg-stump half-volleys. If anything, Brian Vitori’s fielding effort at fine leg was even friendlier. He raised the white flag by trotting half-heartedly after the ball and escorting it to the boundary without a thought of a dive. The ball trickled over the rope, and with that the series was India’s.
Bangladesh seamer reduced hosts to 9 for 3, with John Campbell and Jermaine Blackwood easing the tension out
Associated Press19-Jun-2022Stumps West Indies 265 (Brathwaite 94, Blackwood 63, Mehidy 4-65) and 49 for 3 (Campbell 28*, Blackwood 17*, Khaled 3-14) need another 35 runs to beat Bangladesh 103 and 245 (Nurul 64, Roach 5-53, Joseph 3-55)Bangladesh went from looking like losing by an innings to beating West Indies on a compelling day three of the first test on Saturday. A brilliant rearguard stand by captain Shakib Al Hasan and Nurul Hasan saved Bangladesh from an innings defeat.But when they were all out for 245, they left West Indies with only 84 to win with more than two days left at the Sir Vivian Richards Stadium.The target suddenly looked like 840, though, when Bangladesh medium-pacer Khaled Ahmed took three wickets in 11 balls and reduced West Indies to 9 for 3 in the fourth over of the chase.Opener John Campbell and Jermaine Blackwood eased the tension by holding out to stumps and leading West Indies to 49 for 3. The team should knock off the remaining 35 runs on Sunday morning in the series opener.Khaled gave West Indies a good scare. He had captain Kraigg Brathwaite caught down the leg side for 1 from his first delivery, and Raymon Reifer gloving his fifth on 2. Nkrumah Bonner hadn’t scored when his off stump was bowled by Khaled.Campbell, 28 not out, and Blackwood, 17 not out, combined for 40 to get the home side back on track.In the morning, West Indies seemed like they were going to wrap up the match by mid-afternoon. Bangladesh were reeling at 109 for 6 in the second innings and still trailing West Indies by 53 runs when Shakib and Nurul came together in the morning.Khaled Ahmed took three wickets in 11 balls•AFP/Getty Images
But showing the patience most of their team-mates didn’t on a good batting track, they rubbed out the first-innings deficit through a wicketless middle session, and pushed Bangladesh 70 runs ahead when they were broken up soon after tea.With the new ball, West Indies pace bowler Kemar Roach made Shakib drive straight to a man at short extra cover. Shakib was out for 63, his third straight Test half-century and second of the match. His demise ended a 123-run stand with Nurul. They seemed to match each other run for run, as Nurul was on 60 at the time. He was out for 64 after 147 balls, also bagged by Roach.Bangladesh started the day on 50 for 2, and got into deeper trouble with poor shots to regulation deliveries.Najmul Hossain Shanto went from 8 overnight to guiding Kyle Mayers to the slips on 17, then Mominul Haque was leg-before to Mayers and not saved by a review. Mominul’s score of 4 was his ninth straight Test score in single figures, and his tenth of 11 this year.Litton Das was caught by Mayers in the slips, and Mahmudul Hasan Joy’s stoic 42 that started late on Friday ended four overs from lunch when he was caught behind off Roach, going for a wide ball he should have left alone. He had endured 153 balls.Shakib and Nurul dug in and West Indies wasted their last two reviews after lunch trying to get them out. Ultimately, they had to wait for the new ball, and Roach delivered.Roach conceded the only six of the Bangladesh second innings when Mustafizur Rahman blasted him over the third-man boundary, but Roach had the last say by ending the innings by bowling Ebadot Hossain. That gave Roach his tenth test five-for – 5-53 – and tied him with Michael Holding on the West Indies wicket-taking list: 249, and sixth place.Alzarri Joseph took 3 for 55 and Mayers 2 for 30.
The current World Cup in India has seen plenty of promising performances, and even more compelling characters, emerge from the less established nations
Jack Sheldon25-Feb-2013The history of women’s cricket can be traced back to a quintessentially English occasion – a contest between the villages of Bramley and Hambledon near Guildford in Surrey. A match report published in the said: “The girls bowled, batted, ran and [took] catches as well as most men could.” It may come as a surprise to recent converts that this match took place in 1745, nearly 103 years before the birth of WG Grace.The journey of women’s cricket has not always been smooth since then. Although women beat the men to staging a World Cup, England’s players were demeaningly forced to wear restrictive skirts until as recently as 1997. The international game was monopolised by the traditional powerhouses of England, Australia and New Zealand, who between them shared all of the silverware ever awarded. India were competitive at times, without ever winning a trophy. Those outside this clique often looked short of class.This was true till as recently as the 2009 World Cup, when none of the lesser teams were even close to causing an upset. However, times have changed quickly. The current World Cup in India has seen plenty of promising performances, and even more compelling characters, emerge from the less established nations.It is worth dwelling on Sri Lanka’s efforts. The team was not formed until 1997 and, despite quickly overtaking Ireland and the Netherlands, had not beaten any of the top four teams in 30 matches before this tournament. In 2009, they finished last after being bowled out for 75 by South Africa in the seventh place play-off. Just four years later, in this edition of the World Cup, they smashed their highest ODI total and pulled off the highest-ever run chase in the Women’s World Cup against two of the tournament’s favourite sides.Apart from the one game in which they were ‘Dottined’ by West Indies, there is little reason to believe that Sri Lanka cannot reach the final. Dottined? That is a reference to Deandra Dottin, dubbed the ‘female Chris Gayle’. Many male cricketers would love to call on her hitting ability, which is second to none in the women’s game. But she is not West Indies’ brightest star. That title belongs to Stafanie Taylor who, at 21, has already scored four ODI centuries, taken 70 wickets and won the ICC Women’s Cricketer of the Year award. Like Sri Lanka, West Indies were unheralded until recently. But they are now a genuine threat to any international outfit.There is a strong correlation between the introduction of de-facto, full-time contracts and the evident improvement in the teams benefitting from them. In Sri Lanka, modest contracts, linked to the military, were launched in 2011 and players now receive a match fee. This allows them to focus on cricket virtually full-time, without having to worry about bringing money in through other means. This also holds true for the West Indies, where key players are on annual retainers. Although Pakistan are yet to enjoy real success, they now have more contracted players than any other nation and were able to post their highest World Cup total, in the match against India.Top teams, too, have begun receiving remuneration in recent years. Until 2005, Claire Taylor, one of England’s greatest batsmen of all time, had to supplement her cricket career with a job in the I.T. sector. It is an indicator of the pace of progress that even those boards that were traditionally accused of apathy towards the women’s game are making a sizeable investment in the sport.But why has it taken so long? I’d argue that the absence of media coverage hindered women’s cricket for a long time. The 2009 event was the first World Cup to receive a global telecast; in contrast with tennis, where the Wimbledon ladies’ singles final has been televised for decades. The presence of cameras has allowed fans and, perhaps just as importantly, administrators around the world to challenge their prejudices about the women’s game. There has been a substantial increase in coverage in newspapers, magazines and online sites. As a result, success and failure are increasingly visible and those responsible for the development of the game can no longer afford to be an embarrassment.The ongoing World Cup has already been the most competitive women’s international cricket tournament of all time and, with the continuing improvements in funding, exposure and facilities, one can expect the game to spread globally. If there is one thing the tournament has proved, it is that women around the cricketing world can bowl, bat and take catches just as well as most men.
Manchester United are keen on signing Nuno Mendes, and their hopes of signing the Paris Saint-Germain star might be boosted by Ruben Amorim.
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Leeds United are thought to be in advanced talks to sign a goalscoring midfielder for Daniel Farke, according to a new report.
Manor Solomon became the club’s sixth signing of the summer recently, joining Joe Rodon, Joe Rothwell, Alex Cairns, Jayden Bogle and Largie Ramazani at Elland Road. The Israel international joined on a season-long loan from Tottenham and looks set to help fill the void left by Crysencio Summerville and Georginio Rutter.
However, after losing a number of star players over the course of the window, including midfielders Archie Gray and Glen Kamara, another addition has been wanted for a number of weeks alongside Rothwell.
Farke said during Leeds' pre-season tour of Germany last month that a new signing in the middle of the pitch is wanted: “Overall we have lost two really good midfield options with Archie Gray and also Glen Kamara. We brought in Joe Rothwell, also a pretty experienced player and also good in possession, can chip in with goals and great set-pieces.
“So happy so far, but especially in the central position we won’t fall asleep until the window is really closed. And yes, definitely. In many positions we are already more or less done in our planning but it’s definitely one of the positions where we could do perhaps also with a new addition.”
Terms agreed: Report now claims £15m midfielder has said yes to Leeds move
The Whites now need to increase their bid.
1
By
Charlie Smith
Aug 28, 2024
A number of targets have been linked, including Koln’s Dejan Ljubicic and Sheffield United’s Gus Hamer. The 49ers Enterprises appear to have pulled out of the race to sign Ljubicic, whereas a £13m bid for Hamer was rejected by the Blades. That appears to have led Leeds back to a 2023 target.
According to Football Insider, Leeds are in advanced talks to sign Ao Tanaka from Fortuna Dusseldorf in the final days of the window. The report states that the 25-year-old is keen on a move and that he has a release clause in the region of £2.65m.
The Japan international is also out of contract in under 12 months time, so it looks as if a transfer to Elland Road could go through before the deadline.
Tanaka can play as a holding, central or attacking midfielder, as per Transfermarkt, so would offer plenty of versatility to Farke’s options alongside Ethan Ampadu, Ilia Gruev and Rothwell.
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Tanaka FBref Scout Report |
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Stats |
Per 90 |
Percentile vs midfielders |
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Goals |
0.28 |
Top 3% |
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Non-penalty goals |
0.28 |
Top 2% |
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Goals & Assists |
0.40 |
Top 6% |
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Pass completion |
87.9% |
Top 12% |
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All Stats via FBref |
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As can be seen, Tanaka has an eye for goal from midfield compared to his positional peers, scoring 28 goals during his career for club and country, so he could be a shrewd pick up before Friday.
A half-century from Jason Roy and a thrilling cameo from the returning Umar Akmal were the other highlights in a chase of 200
Danyal Rasool12-Feb-2022In what might have been the game of the tournament, Islamabad United somehow contrived to lose a humdinger of a high-scoring contest to Quetta Gladiators with three balls to spare. It wasn’t so much a team performance by Quetta as a collection of individual gems, and the masterpiece they produced saw Quetta finish with 203 for 5, overhauling Islamabad United’s 199 in the final over.There was the beautiful brutality of Jason Roy’s ball-striking, and a sensational 8-ball 23 from a returning Umar Akmal. Threading through them was a complicated yet ultimately triumphal half-century from the embattled Gladiators skipper Sarfaraz Ahmed, who sealed the win with a couple of final-over boundaries and bought himself – and his side – valuable breathing room in this competition.The 20 overs of the chase were like an epic in themselves, with the passages of play so distinct from each other they were like self-contained episodes. The first segment saw Roy pick up where he’d left off against Lahore Qalandars, treating Islamabad’s bowlers with the same disdain. An early reprieve came when Mohammad Wasim spilled a sitter at cow corner, with Roy immediately punishing Hasan Ali – whose horror run in the PSL continues – with three successive fours to finish off the over.Faheem Ashraf and Liam Dawson were treated with the same contempt, and it wasn’t until Shadab Khan cleaned up the England batter for 54 off 27 on the reverse sweep that Islamabad got a foot in the door. Unlike against Lahore, Quetta still needed a further 112 runs to get without Roy, and while the task had been made easier, they didn’t quite possess batters of the same destructive calibre to keep up the carnage.For the next few overs, James Vince and Sarfaraz Ahmed plodded along seemingly oblivious to the requirements of the target as the asking rate soared. Sarfaraz in particular struggled for rhythm; it wasn’t until his 22nd delivery that he hit his first boundary. Once Shadab – who had another productive day with the ball – struck to remove Vince and then, crucially, Iftikhar Ahmed, the Gladiators needed 61 more off 27.Jason Roy smashed 54 off 26 before being bowled attempting to reverse-sweep Shadab Khan•AFP/Getty Images
A cameo for the ages followed from Umar Akmal – remember him? – playing his first PSL game since the 2019 final. It lasted just eight balls, but in that time he struck three gigantic sixes, a yorker somehow scooped over long-on the shot of the night. When the whirlwind came to an end, the Gladiators needed just nine off seven.Sarfaraz, who from the other end had also found his rhythm, was the perfect man to shepherd them across the finish line, sealing the win – and getting to an unbeaten half-century – with panache, a couple of sweetly-timed boundaries either side of the pitch capping the memorable win.Much earlier on, when Islamabad were put in to bat, their innings went, well, as you’d expect Islamabad innings to go. They went hard early on, and when they lost wickets, they went even harder. Alex Hales was in sumptuous touch, taking just 32 balls to get to his 50 and finishing with 62 off 38. It was Shahid Afridi who got him out, and Afridi was one of the highlights of an electric night. Three wickets fell in his final over, one a run-out, and he inflicted another run-out with a direct hit himself as Islamabad collapsed from 100 for 1 to 109 for 6. By now, Afridi had figures of 4-0-27-2, and United were in danger of folding cheaply.But they simply kept coming at Quetta. Tonight’s lower-order saviour was Faheem, whose T20 batting pedigree had almost been forgotten. A terrific 29-ball 55 capitalised on the Gladiators losing some of their bowling discipline, and even then, there was time enough for Mohammad Wasim to smash the last two balls of the innings for six to help get Islamabad to 199, a total that had been almost inconceivable when Asif Ali had been as the sixth man out for Islamabad.It looked as if they had got out of jail. But Roy, Umar Akmal, and in the end, Sarfaraz, proved reliable gatekeepers after all.
The visitors have been hampered by a new problem in this series – a lack of consistency in the middle order – and although Faf du Plessis’ outstanding start to Test cricket has offered some solace there remain plenty of issues
Firdose Moonda at the WACA30-Nov-2012Limp middle-orders used to infect South Africa’s limited-overs teams. It was the reason they failed at the 2011 World Cup and many a tournament before that, but it was not a disease that spread to the longer format. There a mixture of dynamism and dependability existed. Both those are qualities that are absent in it on this tour of Australia.Of the five innings South Africa have batted in so far, the middle order has let them down every time. In Brisbane they lost 4 for 52 in the first innings and 3 for 63 in the second. In Adelaide, the collapse was more dramatic when five wickets tumbled for 17 runs on the third day.The six overs after lunch in Perth saw three wickets fall as Hashim Amla, AB de Villiers and Dean Elgar were all dismissed for the addition of only 12 runs. It is this folding that will seem the most glaring because it resulted in a below-par score despite the later recovery.The inability to minimise risk is the root cause for the wobbles illustrated by two of the three dismissals in Perth. Amla was run-out after answering a de Villiers call that should have been more circumspect. De Villiers himself was on the receiving end of a good ball that swung away late to find his edge but then Elgar’s inexperience showed in his short selection. He played an unnecessary pull after being primed by a series of pitched up deliveries from Mitchell Johnson.Jacques Rudolph, who was dropped for this match, was guilty of exactly the same thing in the previous two Tests. His could not blame it on inexperience, though, but a technical flaw. Rudolph played Nathan Lyon in the air in both Brisbane and Adelaide to further underline his vulnerability against offspin and he was left out of the XI to play the deciding Test.Rudolph’s average in his last eight innings was 26.87 and he was an obvious weak link. Because of that South Africa have needed seven batsmen, not to lengthen the line-up as they would have us believe but to recover. In Faf du Plessis they have found an able Mr Fix It. He has the temperament and confidence of someone whose Test career is much older but even his patch-up job on the opening day here could not harden the soft middle order.Just a year ago, South Africa had players who could act as solidifying agents. With de Villiers at No.5 with Ashwell Prince at No.6 there was a combination which could be both sensational and stable. Neither are around anymore: Prince literally so and de Villiers not as we knew him.Prince was dropped after the Boxing Day Test last year, even though he scored a half-century the match before that. He was retained on national contract but has been given no indication that he will play for his country again.De Villiers has become a shadow of the batsman he once was. Although his resilience remains as both his innings in Adelaide showed, his flamboyance has gone. Despite his insistence to the contrary, becoming the full time wicketkeeper has affected his batting and he has not scored a half-century in nine innings since taking over the role.On most occasions he has managed a start but been unable to convert and it appeared to be a problem with patience. Adelaide debunked that myth. He batted for over four hours and faced 220 balls for his 33. His forward defensive made more appearances in that innings that it has done in the ten before them and it was as unbreakable as the wall he had erected around his state of mind.Du Plessis said de Villiers was so defensive in his approach it took even him by surprise. When he joined his school-friend and team-mate at the crease, he hoped they could stay positive at first but de Villiers turned down singles they would normally have run for fun. They both knew they could not present even a sliver of an opening to Australia and de Villiers took that instruction very seriously. As a result, the pair “blocked balls we could have hit for a few,” as du Plessis later said.De Villiers emerged out of that innings with proof that he had the stamina to bat for a long period and that he was able to do that without presenting the chances he had before. Not even a week has passed since that day and de Villiers has reverted back to the player who chased a short and wide Peter Siddle delivery in Brisbane.His running out of Amla and subsequent succumbing to a ball he could have got behind, albeit it a good one, left South Africa facing a paltry first innings total. While Elgar also contributed to that, he cannot be judged yet. To walk in on debut with the team in trouble is difficult. Although he had du Plessis to draw inspiration from, his duck, notable for being the first by a South Africa Test debutant since 1998, will not close his door. A player of the experience and calibre of de Villiers though, should have taken more responsibility.That could be what the South Africa middle order currently lacks most: someone to front up. With a top four that carries the heavyweight credentials of Graeme Smith, the form of Alviro Petersen who has scored three hundreds and two fifties this year and the aura of Amla and Jacques Kallis, it is easy for the rest to think they won’t have much to do.But they will and they need to be properly equipped for that. For as long as de Villiers continues to don the gloves the decision between six and seven batsmen remains unresolved, as does the identity of those players, which is far from the ideal position for solidity.
Need some perspective after a jaw-unhinging day at Newlands?
Andy Zaltzman25-Feb-2013In the 2015 previous Test matches that have adorned the history of the universe, few, if any, passages of play can have matched the barking-mad cricketing melodrama that unfolded in the 2016th in Cape Town on Wednesday. On a lively but scarcely fire-breathing wicket, mayhem reigned as the moving ball and the DRS ran amok like a porcelain-loving bull in a well-stocked china shop.Australia, from a position of total dominance, lost, in quick succession: a few early wickets; their marbles; and control of the game. Haddin, in particular, seemed to be spooked by the scoreboard (which read an admittedly alarming 18 for 5), and forget the match situation, which was, effectively, 206 for 5. Philander and Morkel took full advantage, and the game was not so much turned on its head as flipped into an impromptu quadruple somersault, before staggering groggily to its feet, muttering: “Who am I and what am I doing here?”Australia had history and an immortal entry in the annals of sporting ineptitude within their grasp – at 21 for 9 after 11.4 overs, they were within one more inept waft of registering the lowest-ever completed Test innings (New Zealand’s 26 against England in 1954-55), and the shortest-ever completed Test innings (South Africa’s 12.3 overs at Edgbaston in 1924). Siddle and Lyon stapled a small fig leaf of dignity to Australia’s obvious embarrassment with a last-wicket stand of 26, and History mopped its brow and toddled off. But it did not leave empty-handed. Here then, is a multiple-choice quiz about the unforgettable day two of the Newlands Test. Each question has multiple answers. Do not attempt if you are (a) an Australian batsman, or (b) an Australian of nervous disposition.1. What did Nathan Lyon do on Thursday that no other human being has ever done?(a) He walked out to bat in a Test match with his team at 21 for 9. The previous worst score facing a No. 11 was 25 for 9, when Lyon’s baggy green predecessor Tom McKibbin marched to the wicket at The Oval in 1896 thinking, “Oh dear. This is a disappointing score. I bet no other Australian will ever come to the wicket with a worse score than this on the board.” He smote a defiant 16 before being caught, taking Australia’s score up to 44 all out, leaving Hugh Trumble chuntering into his moustache at the non-striker’s end that he had taken 12 for 89 in the match and still been on the wrong end of a shoeing.(b) He broke the 300-mph barrier on a unicycle. Unicycling has been introduced to the Australian training regime by their new coaches, as a means of improving balance and self-confidence. Lyon took a morning pedal up to the top of Table Mountain, lost his balance whilst looking for a yeti, and careered down to Newlands at breakneck speed.(c) He became the eighth No. 11 to top-score in a Test innings.(d) He walked on the moon.ANSWERS: (a) and (c). (b) has not been ratified by the World Unicycling Federation, as it took place outside of official competition.2. What do WG Grace and Philip Hughes have in common?(a) Both men are no longer as effective as Test Match batsmen as they once were.(b) Both have been played by Hollywood actor Val Kilmer in films.(c) They have each taken part in one of the only two Tests ever played in which 23 batsmen have been dismissed in single figures in the first three innings of the match – Hughes at Newlands this week, Grace in the Lord’s Test of 1888.(d) Both have featured prominently in German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s dreams in the past week.ANSWERS: (a), (c) and (d).3. What has Australia as a nation experienced three times in the last 16 months?(a) An infestation of pterodactyls.(b) It has watched in gaping-mouthed astonishment as its once-mighty cricket team has been bowled out for under 100, on three separate occasions – 88 all out against Pakistan in Leeds in July 2010, the Boxing Day MCG abomination against England (98 all out), and now 47 at Newlands. Three times in 12 Tests. They had posted a two-figure score just once in their previous 277 Tests over 25 years. They had not been skittled for under 100 three times in two years since 1887 and 1888 – when they had to regroup and take the positives after eight different sub-100 totals. In six matches. It is fair to say that Australian batsmanship improved thereafter.(c) A creeping sensation that Silvio Berlusconi’s behaviour might not be entirely prime ministerial.(d) It has seen its cricket team win a Test match – in their previous four series, they won three, drew three and lost six. The previous time they won three or fewer games in a run of 12 Tests was between December 1987 and June 1989. At which point, they ground England into a fine pulp, kick-starting a decade and a half of unremitting Ashes dominance. Is this all part of Cricket Australia’s masterplan?ANSWERS: (b) and (d).4. Why might Vernon Philander and Shane Watson have spent Thursday night discussing plans for a massive 30-foot-high commemorative bronze statue of themselves to be erected on the concourse at Newlands?(a) Because they had just overheard Peter Siddle and Morne Morkel discussing erecting a 29-foot-high commemorative bronze statue of themselves on the concourse in Centurion.(b) Because they had just become the first pair of bowlers from opposite sides to take five-wicket hauls for fewer than 20 runs in the same Test.(c) Because 18 wickets had fallen in 23 overs of Test cricket, and they had been the principal agents of batting doom – both took five wickets in 20 balls. Eighteen wickets tumbled for 68 in 138 balls. Think about that. Have you thought about that? What do you think about that? This included 16 for 44 in 115, as South Africa lost their last seven wickets for 23 (their lowest such total since their first Test after readmission in 1991-92), and Australia lost their first nine for 21 (unprecedented at least since before the dinosaurs were still at the crease). Holy smokes. The apocalypse is coming. No doubt. Look at the Eurozone. Then look at the scorecard from Newlands. Then look at Alastair Cook’s Test average over the last 12 months. There is no other conclusion to draw.(d) Because, during the tea interval, they discovered a method of converting the noise of lbw appeals into electricity, thus solving all the world’s energy problems, and rightly believe that their breakthrough should be recognised in artistic form.ANSWERS: (b) and (c)5. Before the Newlands Test, what had happened only twice since the First World War?(a) Another World War.(b) Both teams had been dismissed for under 100 in the same Test. It happened when India and New Zealand went head-to-head in a loser-loses-all collapse-off in Hamilton in 2002-03, and when South Africa and Australia span each other silly in Durban in 1949-50, and it has happened in Cape Town this week.(c) A member of the Bush family had won a US Presidential election.(d) Australia had lost a Test Match after taking a first-innings lead of 188 – their Newlands lead after skittling South Africa for 96. Those two occasions are quite highly regarded matches – Headingley 1981 and Kolkata 2000-01. If Australia lose this match, it will be the eighth highest first-innings lead to have resulted in defeat (excluding the Hansie Cronje’s Magic Jacket match in 1999-2000, when the middle two innings were forfeited and England technically won after conceding a 248-run lead).(e) A Test team had lost eight wickets for 10 runs or fewer. Australia collapsed like a narcoleptic house of cards on a bobsled going down the Spanish Steps in Rome as they subsided from 11 for 1 to 21 for 9. Only twice before had eight wickets fallen for as few runs in a Test, and both times New Zealand were the untriumphant team involved – when Saqlain and Sami carved them up in Auckland in 2000-01 (121 for 2 became 131 all out); and when, on the first day of post-war Test cricket, in Wellington in 1945-46, the Kiwis celebrated the return of peace by slumping from 37 for 2 to 42 all out. They followed this up by losing 6 for 6 during their second innings, and Australia, so appalled that such ineptitude should be allowed on a cricket pitch, did not play another Test against New Zealand for almost three decades. Will they be hoist by their own petard?ANSWERS: (b), (d) and (e). And (c). And (a). If you count the international dispute over the UDRS as a World War. Which you should not.Here endeth the quiz.What a day. I think cricket needs a cup of tea and a sit-down. For mercifully different reasons than it needed a cup of tea and a sit-down last week after the spot-fixing trial. The third day may provide yet more twists, and after the excellent Test matches in Zimbabwe and India, these crazy Cape Town capers have been a further reminder that cricket is generally far more enjoyable when it is being played and watched on the pitch rather than in a courtroom.